Reddit challenge 22

Reddit user Frajer submits: Mitt Romney goes to see a midnight screening of Ice Age but it is sold out

Tragedy strikes in Los Angeles, California as presidential candidate Mitt Romney was unable to attend his midnight screening of Ice Age: Continental Drift. It seems that due to delays on the campaign trail, Mr. Romney was unable to make the screening on time. His late arrival and the theater’s refusal to allow him and his entourage in created a large stir in the lobby.
Mitt Romney, speaking to reporters outside the theater said “I assure you I am human, and I simply arrived late as humans do.” He then proceeded to reenter his limo and drive off. Clearly, a strategic blunder for the campaign; but this was an important movie.
If Romney had attended the premier, he would gain favor with young families and people who believe in evolution. Romney’s people knew the movie was valuable. It hit key audiences for the Romney campaign: children, and people who think like children. Jokes aside the reality of the situation here is that he was going to make a big splash. Ice Age: Continental Drift, I’m told, is about a group of animals who are split off from due to enormous climactic forces, much like those accelerating forces today.
Romney it seems wants to prove to people he does agree with the most basic tenants of intelligent humanity, which is all right, but he still hasn’t proven he’s not a vampire.