Reddit Challenge #28

Reddit user zygote_harlot submits: Grandma brushes her teeth with LSD-laced tooth paste before taking her cat to the vet.


Norma Needham had never before felt the urge to count each step she took from her house to the veterinarian's office just a few blocks away. Today was different. The 76 year old pensioner left her house and proceeded to count each step from the door; calling out each number at the top of her lungs, she elicited stares from passers by. On the way to the vet for her cat Snuggles' six-month check up, Norma held the feline tightly in her arms, putting the cat in a position that you could tell by its expression it did not like.

Not. One. Bit.

As Norma reached- and then called out- step number 136, she froze in place, letting the world pass by around her. Thoughts began racing through the old woman's head. Why was she there? Why was 136 important? 136... She liked that number, so she said it ten or twelve times in a row, appreciating each mention as if being told 'i love you' by a passionate bed-fellow.

What was the fluffy thing in her hands? Was that 136? She loved 136. If Snuggles could have spoken he would have told her he was not 136- but Snuggles was only a cat and he had no choice but to remained in the pensioner's steely grip.

Still standing motionless, Norma realized that something was different about today. Like every other day she had dressed in the morning, brushed her teeth, waited for an hour for a call from her grandchildren- which never came- and then proceeded out of the house to go on with her day's plans. Today she knew she was going to the vet but things felt different. 136 felt different. Perhaps it was the new toothpaste she tried.

The funny man with the dreadlocks at CVS told her it was the best toothpaste on the market, "guaranteed to whiten her day" he had said. The tube said 'CoLSDgate' but Norma didn't know or care what it meant- to her the recommendation from the lovely man with the strange hair was all she needed, for Norma was the trusting type.

136. 136. 136.

Norma decided the day was lovely, the colors were lovely, Snuggles36 was lovely. She kissed the cat on its head then wondered to herself again why she had not left the spot she was in? Did the spot love her like she loved it? Did the spot love Snuggles36?

Norma appeared in the veterinarian's office.

Having no recollection of how she got there, Norma began to wonder if Snuggles was okay. He was shaking in her arms, which were still gripped tightly around his body. She loosened her grip and Snuggles jumped out of her hands with lightning quickness. The cat- who had been unable to breathe fully for the last two hours- ran as fast as it could in circles around the office before passing out from exhaustion.

Luckily, Norma was at the veterinarian's office.