A little story about The Moon...

My pal Jonah posed a simple question a few months ago:
"Need some ideas: what is a disaster that could happen and involves Wisconsin cheese?"

This was my suggestion:
"Alternate history where Apollo 11 lands on the moon only to discover it is indeed made of cheese, wisconsin cheese- but how did they get it up there?"

So... in honor of Neil Armstrong, without further ado, I present: The Eagle Has Cheddar

From the diary of Neil Armstrong:

We landed on the Sea of Tranquility at approximately 20:17. The mood inside the Lunar Module was joyous, with me and Buzz shaking hands in celebration of the occasion. After preparing the cabin and dressing in our space suits, we prepared to embark on the greatest extra-vehicular activity in this history of humanity.

When I climbed out of the Lunar Module and began descending down the ladder I realized that the surface was all too different from what the scientists had told us to expect. By the time I reached the bottom of the ladder, my strangest thoughts and greatest fears were confirmed: the surface of the moon appeared to be made of cheddar cheese!

I radioed Houston to describe to them what I was seeing. I told them that it was very squishy and porous when you get up close to it. I still had yet to step off the landing pads for the Lunar Module, but seeing no other option, I stepped off. I thought that the words I had planned to say would come out of my mouth, but instead I could only manage to say "That is one small step for a man... wow that cheese is bouncy!"

The surface was indeed made of porous cheese, but despite its bouncy and squishy nature, it was more than solid enough to walk on, and the Lunar Module didn't appear to be depressed to deep in the surface. I proceeded with the first task on the mission checklist: to pick up a sample of lunar rock so that if something were to go wrong in the rest of the EVA, we would at least have that. I quickly found a solid chunk of cheese and picked it up with the NASA grabber. Upon closer inspection I could see lettering on the cheese, it read "Made in Wisconsin."

I could not believe my eyes, and I immediately called out the discovery to Buzz in the lander. I told him that the cheese was from Wisconsin! He replied in disbelief that it could not be possible, but 20 minutes later when he emerged from the Lunar Module he saw it for himself. Wisconsin Cheese, gray in color but definitely cheese in nature and consistency littered the surface, it was the surface!

We radioed Houston to tell them that we could confirm that the Moon was made of cheese. The silence that proceeded was deeply frightening to us. Nearly 45 seconds passed before we received a reply: "We know. We've always known. The Moon was built by the government of Wisconsin in 1922."

Dear lord.

-- 21 July 1969