Reddit Challenge story #7

Topic: Steven Hawking’s trip to Disneyland.

You would think that Steven Hawking visiting Disneyland is a little absurd. He is, after all, a quadriplegic and a cursory glance through his assorted written works would seem to show he has very little interest in games and rides. That is why when Steven Hawking visited Disneyland, he did not actually go on any rides, or play any games. Steven Hawking had been invited to Disneyland not to see the amusement park, but to visit the secret underground bunker belonging to the Disney Imagineers. Deep in the depths below the magic castle, a team of Imagineers had just finished work on the first ever black hole created in a laboratory setting.
Hawking, a champion of black hole science, was invited secretly to preview the device by then-living Disney board member Steve Jobs. The meeting was played off for the media as a humorous excursion put on my Matt Groening and David X. Cohen of Futurama where they would use clips of Hawking talking during the rides for a future episode. The truth was stranger than fiction, of course.
When Hawking entered the lab to see the black hole, what he discovered was as amazing as it was terrifying. The black hole was sucking up everything in sight. A computer, benches, tables, anything that was not bolted to the floor was being sucked into the black hole. Hawking immediately knew what the problem was: the black hole was created using an unstable isotope of Uranium, manufactured by the same child labor that produces Disney toys in China. The black hole was already unstoppable and Hawking was only able to get out two last robotic-sounding words before being sucked in “Tupac. Lives.”