Thursday, December 19, 2013

Reddit Challenge #36

Reddit user Smitty1288 submits: "A samurai's first narcotics anonymous meeting."

Hello, my name is Hiruki Namaguch and I am a Samurai. And a drug addict.

Getting the coke, this was the easy part. The very easy part.

With a single swing of my katana, any thug, drug dealer, friend or watermelon was sliced in half. Take a moment especially and imagine the watermelon, isn't it freaking sweet? Anyhow, the treasures they held, whether they be cocaine, more cocaine or watermelon were mine for the taking. And I took.


You usually do not hear of Samurai talking about drug usage. This is because drug usage among Samurai is ubiquitous. And because Samurai are legendarily secretive. Why am I here, you might ask? It is because I remembered the first day I became a Samurai.

My master was branding us all with the emblem of our clan. To calm our nerves, he offered all of us some cocaine. The rest is history.

I drove to Tokyo on a cocaine-induced rage and have been murdering addicts, drug dealers, friends and fruit in order to get cocaine, money for cocaine or more money for cocaine. I realized eventually, that my breaking point was near, when I looked at myself in the mirror of a Burger King bathroom.

I realized I had spent the entire day taking cocaine, killing for more cocaine, and being even more high on even more cocaine and yet- as I do at this very moment- I still had my katana over my shoulder, and a dazzling kimono. It was at that very moment that a miraculous idea struck within my mind.

Narcotics Anonymous meetings are the perfect place to find more cocaine!

2 comments:

  1. Pretty clever overall, a little scary, good space for a story here. Although as far as the reddit thread goes, I suppose you were -imaginative- with the prompt, but occasionally a bit of an -asshole- when it came to realizing it. I suppose had this been a competition you wouldn't have fulfilled the prompt well enough. 2c's worth

    ReplyDelete