Some people can't help but write, some people can't help but run, others can't stop creating beautiful music. Then there's me- I can't help but sculpt faces.
Since I was a child it was all I ever wanted to do. Before I knew how to sculpt, all I would do was draw faces; but they weren't like the other kids' drawings. From the time I was a toddler, the detail I was capable of was immense, rivaling the great portrait masters.
When I first discovered clay my results were even more dramatic- even in lifeless gray, I was able to bring soul and emotion to these faces. I started out just using my hands, but early on, around age five, one of my art teachers realized my talents and showed me tools. It takes a college student sometimes years to master the tools of sculpting and a lifetime to perfect the art itself- but for me, it took just one afternoon before I was using even the most basic schools available in a preschool to manipulate my clay in magnificent ways. My classroom teachers were dumbfounded, my peers were jealous and I simply didn't care enough to notice any of it.
Naturally, my parents thought something was wrong with me; they took me to the best shrinks and psychologists in the city thinking it might help. These accomplished doctors, with degrees from the best universities in the world adorning their walls, would stare intently at me for hours at a time while I sculpted away. By this time, I was about seven and I had taken to bringing clay and tools with me all the time in a small backpack. The shrinks tried to deduce things from who they thought I was sculpting, one of them figured I was portraying images of people who had hurt me, bullies and such. Another had suggested to my parents that perhaps I was sculpting the faces of would-be criminals, like that movie Minority Report. Thankfully my parents never took me back to that guy because I just don't think I could handle the pressures of working with Tom Cruise all the time.
In the end none of the highly paid professionals could come to any diagnosis. One my one they were dumbfounded by both my prowess at sculpting and my apparent lack of any cognitive detriments. A few of the doctors suggested various pills, antidepressants, ritalin, cocktails of the two and so on. My parents decided to give one of them a try only to discover that while on the pills I didn't just not sculpt- I didn't eat or sleep or talk to anyone. After a week of sleepless nights, memories of which are fuzzy at best, I was taken off the pills and left to my sculpting.
Now, it's not as if I didn't do anything else. I ate spoke, I at my meals and had proper manners at the table, I cleaned my dishes, I was polite (when not sculpting) and I even managed to make a few friends who were so impressed with my sculpting that they would come over for hours at a time to watch me sculpt and try to imitate me. Of course, no one could come close.
As I got older, I lost most of my friends who had moved on to other pursuits such as chasing girls, having drinks and playing video games. None of these things interested me in the slightest and high school was very difficult because of this. I had learned by this time not to sculpt in class, but I would still spend my lunch hours in a quiet corner making faces of whoever I saw passing by, or melding faces together. Their realism only increased as I grew, adding color and texture so detailed that from the right angle you could almost not tell it was a lump of molded and painted clay. And then there were my dreams.
My nights would be filled with vivid images of the faces I had created, whether they be familiar faces or faces I had invented out of the blue. This alone would not bother me, but it was the cryptic messages they would send me that did. Instructions for situations I had yet to encounter, formulas for mathematics I didn't understand and the names of people I had never met. It would not be until I entered college that I understood what the dreams were about.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
To Astoria...
Astoria, we've had an interesting summer together...
We've had Shawarma, we've had laughs, we've had adventure.
I may not be able to stay, as forces beyond me are at work, this is surely a clencher.
Astoria, you taught me what it means to know a neighborhood. You taught me what it means to not care about living in Manhattan
When our time is finally up whether it be next month or next year, you'll have a place in my heart, never dead- unlike Latin.
I know that you're full of pride, with Greek life abound.
But when push comes to shove even if I'm in Brooklyn, I'll always be around.
We've had Shawarma, we've had laughs, we've had adventure.
I may not be able to stay, as forces beyond me are at work, this is surely a clencher.
Astoria, you taught me what it means to know a neighborhood. You taught me what it means to not care about living in Manhattan
When our time is finally up whether it be next month or next year, you'll have a place in my heart, never dead- unlike Latin.
I know that you're full of pride, with Greek life abound.
But when push comes to shove even if I'm in Brooklyn, I'll always be around.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Take a load off...
Whatever you're doing right now, take a load off and relax for a few minutes... Unless you're reading this, finish this up (please) then take a load off.
I'm living in the city that never sleeps and the times when I can just sit back, relax and let the city pass me by are some of the moments I've enjoyed most. My time in New York has been full of outrageous adventures, interesting new people and so much more than could fit into a few sentences on here; but sometimes you just have to sit down for a minute!
Sitting in a cafe, I'm staring out the windows at the corner of 39th and 5th Avenue. In the several hours I've been here, probably thousands of feet have passed in front of me, everyone on their way to live some part of their life. Tourists and businessmen, fathers and mothers, daughters and sons- everyone is living, and I have the divine pleasure of watching.
Try it some time and you might find there is more peace in people watching than there is in meditating. Put yourself in the mind's eye of those busy bodies and try to imagine what they are doing, where they are going and just enjoy. Take a load off.
Ferris may have not intended for his phrase to be used this way, but I love it anyway:
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
I'm living in the city that never sleeps and the times when I can just sit back, relax and let the city pass me by are some of the moments I've enjoyed most. My time in New York has been full of outrageous adventures, interesting new people and so much more than could fit into a few sentences on here; but sometimes you just have to sit down for a minute!
Sitting in a cafe, I'm staring out the windows at the corner of 39th and 5th Avenue. In the several hours I've been here, probably thousands of feet have passed in front of me, everyone on their way to live some part of their life. Tourists and businessmen, fathers and mothers, daughters and sons- everyone is living, and I have the divine pleasure of watching.
Try it some time and you might find there is more peace in people watching than there is in meditating. Put yourself in the mind's eye of those busy bodies and try to imagine what they are doing, where they are going and just enjoy. Take a load off.
Ferris may have not intended for his phrase to be used this way, but I love it anyway:
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
Monday, September 3, 2012
Friday, August 31, 2012
The Beatles 'Let It Be' Movie.
You've never seen Let It Be. That is because the movie failed at its indented goal and once The Beatles saw the final cut, they refused to allow it to be sold. To see it today, you have to find yourself a good torrent and if you like The Beatles, I suggest you do just that.
In the wake of the death of their manager Brian Epstein, The Beatles were without direction. The delicate balance of egos- especially Paul and John's- was kept in check by Brian, but with him gone, Paul- in an ill-fated attempt to bring the band back together- he suggested that the band film themselves composing, practicing and then live-recording an entire album from scratch.
Having been influenced by the brilliant and simple work of The Band in their album Music from the Big Pink, the boys were excited at the prospect of getting back to the basics. No crazy studio effects, no overdubs, no backwards guitars: just four guys and a few microphones. The Beatles knew they could swing it with any band in history and Let It Be was their chance to prove it- most of all to themselves.
Sadly, the film did not show how a band comes together to create an album. Instead, it showed how a band breaks up. Sitting in the cold soundstage, Let It Be shows the group frustrated and angry with each other, getting into serious verbal arguments. However, the film does have one redeeming feature: the rooftop concert.
The sequence that unfolded is one of the most iconic in rock and roll. We've all seen bands hop onto a rooftop or an awning and play their hearts out: The Beatles started this trend and it will forever belong to them. Though they didn't know it at the time- it would be the last time the band ever performed in front of an audience. Knowing this today, it is an emotional scene to watch, seeing John and Paul enjoying each others company for perhaps the last time.
If you have not seen this film I urge you to watch. You'll laugh, you'll sing, and most of all you'll smile. Despite the fact that the band was broken up later that year, it is clear when you watch them rocking their hearts out on that rooftop that they truly are the greatest band in history.
In the wake of the death of their manager Brian Epstein, The Beatles were without direction. The delicate balance of egos- especially Paul and John's- was kept in check by Brian, but with him gone, Paul- in an ill-fated attempt to bring the band back together- he suggested that the band film themselves composing, practicing and then live-recording an entire album from scratch.
Having been influenced by the brilliant and simple work of The Band in their album Music from the Big Pink, the boys were excited at the prospect of getting back to the basics. No crazy studio effects, no overdubs, no backwards guitars: just four guys and a few microphones. The Beatles knew they could swing it with any band in history and Let It Be was their chance to prove it- most of all to themselves.
Sadly, the film did not show how a band comes together to create an album. Instead, it showed how a band breaks up. Sitting in the cold soundstage, Let It Be shows the group frustrated and angry with each other, getting into serious verbal arguments. However, the film does have one redeeming feature: the rooftop concert.
The sequence that unfolded is one of the most iconic in rock and roll. We've all seen bands hop onto a rooftop or an awning and play their hearts out: The Beatles started this trend and it will forever belong to them. Though they didn't know it at the time- it would be the last time the band ever performed in front of an audience. Knowing this today, it is an emotional scene to watch, seeing John and Paul enjoying each others company for perhaps the last time.
If you have not seen this film I urge you to watch. You'll laugh, you'll sing, and most of all you'll smile. Despite the fact that the band was broken up later that year, it is clear when you watch them rocking their hearts out on that rooftop that they truly are the greatest band in history.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
A little story about The Moon...
My pal Jonah posed a simple question a few months ago:
"Need some ideas: what is a disaster that could happen and involves Wisconsin cheese?"
This was my suggestion:
"Alternate history where Apollo 11 lands on the moon only to discover it is indeed made of cheese, wisconsin cheese- but how did they get it up there?"
So... in honor of Neil Armstrong, without further ado, I present: The Eagle Has Cheddar
From the diary of Neil Armstrong:
We landed on the Sea of Tranquility at approximately 20:17. The mood inside the Lunar Module was joyous, with me and Buzz shaking hands in celebration of the occasion. After preparing the cabin and dressing in our space suits, we prepared to embark on the greatest extra-vehicular activity in this history of humanity.
When I climbed out of the Lunar Module and began descending down the ladder I realized that the surface was all too different from what the scientists had told us to expect. By the time I reached the bottom of the ladder, my strangest thoughts and greatest fears were confirmed: the surface of the moon appeared to be made of cheddar cheese!
I radioed Houston to describe to them what I was seeing. I told them that it was very squishy and porous when you get up close to it. I still had yet to step off the landing pads for the Lunar Module, but seeing no other option, I stepped off. I thought that the words I had planned to say would come out of my mouth, but instead I could only manage to say "That is one small step for a man... wow that cheese is bouncy!"
The surface was indeed made of porous cheese, but despite its bouncy and squishy nature, it was more than solid enough to walk on, and the Lunar Module didn't appear to be depressed to deep in the surface. I proceeded with the first task on the mission checklist: to pick up a sample of lunar rock so that if something were to go wrong in the rest of the EVA, we would at least have that. I quickly found a solid chunk of cheese and picked it up with the NASA grabber. Upon closer inspection I could see lettering on the cheese, it read "Made in Wisconsin."
I could not believe my eyes, and I immediately called out the discovery to Buzz in the lander. I told him that the cheese was from Wisconsin! He replied in disbelief that it could not be possible, but 20 minutes later when he emerged from the Lunar Module he saw it for himself. Wisconsin Cheese, gray in color but definitely cheese in nature and consistency littered the surface, it was the surface!
We radioed Houston to tell them that we could confirm that the Moon was made of cheese. The silence that proceeded was deeply frightening to us. Nearly 45 seconds passed before we received a reply: "We know. We've always known. The Moon was built by the government of Wisconsin in 1922."
Dear lord.
-- 21 July 1969
"Need some ideas: what is a disaster that could happen and involves Wisconsin cheese?"
This was my suggestion:
"Alternate history where Apollo 11 lands on the moon only to discover it is indeed made of cheese, wisconsin cheese- but how did they get it up there?"
So... in honor of Neil Armstrong, without further ado, I present: The Eagle Has Cheddar
From the diary of Neil Armstrong:
We landed on the Sea of Tranquility at approximately 20:17. The mood inside the Lunar Module was joyous, with me and Buzz shaking hands in celebration of the occasion. After preparing the cabin and dressing in our space suits, we prepared to embark on the greatest extra-vehicular activity in this history of humanity.
When I climbed out of the Lunar Module and began descending down the ladder I realized that the surface was all too different from what the scientists had told us to expect. By the time I reached the bottom of the ladder, my strangest thoughts and greatest fears were confirmed: the surface of the moon appeared to be made of cheddar cheese!
I radioed Houston to describe to them what I was seeing. I told them that it was very squishy and porous when you get up close to it. I still had yet to step off the landing pads for the Lunar Module, but seeing no other option, I stepped off. I thought that the words I had planned to say would come out of my mouth, but instead I could only manage to say "That is one small step for a man... wow that cheese is bouncy!"
The surface was indeed made of porous cheese, but despite its bouncy and squishy nature, it was more than solid enough to walk on, and the Lunar Module didn't appear to be depressed to deep in the surface. I proceeded with the first task on the mission checklist: to pick up a sample of lunar rock so that if something were to go wrong in the rest of the EVA, we would at least have that. I quickly found a solid chunk of cheese and picked it up with the NASA grabber. Upon closer inspection I could see lettering on the cheese, it read "Made in Wisconsin."
I could not believe my eyes, and I immediately called out the discovery to Buzz in the lander. I told him that the cheese was from Wisconsin! He replied in disbelief that it could not be possible, but 20 minutes later when he emerged from the Lunar Module he saw it for himself. Wisconsin Cheese, gray in color but definitely cheese in nature and consistency littered the surface, it was the surface!
We radioed Houston to tell them that we could confirm that the Moon was made of cheese. The silence that proceeded was deeply frightening to us. Nearly 45 seconds passed before we received a reply: "We know. We've always known. The Moon was built by the government of Wisconsin in 1922."
Dear lord.
-- 21 July 1969
Saturday, August 25, 2012
RIP Neil Armstrong
Our universe lost a great man today. Neil Armstrong taught us that the very home we have come to know is only the shore of the cosmic ocean. His small step on Earth's celestial dance partner proved that we children of the stars are indeed unlimited beings, capable of any achievement we set our minds to.
When John F. Kennedy brashly challenged us to send a man to the Moon and return him safely to earth, many were not even sure it was possible. Robert Goddard dreamed it, Kennedy threw down the gauntlet and Neil Armstrong achieved it. He landed a rocket in reverse in 1/6th Earth's gravity, flying a ship so delicate that a few pebbles whizzing through could tear it apart.
Always an intensely private man, unlike his LMP Buzz Aldrin, Armstrong remained vocal about only one thing: the fall of NASA. Despite his reluctant fame, he was a staunch believer in the power of inspiration and dreaded seeing NASA's greatness float away in a breeze of politics and budget cuts. Perhaps his death will cause our leaders to reexamine the future of the space agency, and the technological innovation and human inspiration it provided to millions.
I think its best to close with the words of Neil's family:
"For those who may ask what they can do to honor Neil, we have a simple request: Honor his example of service, accomplishment and modesty, and the next time you walk outside on a clear night and see the moon smiling down at you, think of Neil Armstrong and give him a wink."
When John F. Kennedy brashly challenged us to send a man to the Moon and return him safely to earth, many were not even sure it was possible. Robert Goddard dreamed it, Kennedy threw down the gauntlet and Neil Armstrong achieved it. He landed a rocket in reverse in 1/6th Earth's gravity, flying a ship so delicate that a few pebbles whizzing through could tear it apart.
Always an intensely private man, unlike his LMP Buzz Aldrin, Armstrong remained vocal about only one thing: the fall of NASA. Despite his reluctant fame, he was a staunch believer in the power of inspiration and dreaded seeing NASA's greatness float away in a breeze of politics and budget cuts. Perhaps his death will cause our leaders to reexamine the future of the space agency, and the technological innovation and human inspiration it provided to millions.
I think its best to close with the words of Neil's family:
"For those who may ask what they can do to honor Neil, we have a simple request: Honor his example of service, accomplishment and modesty, and the next time you walk outside on a clear night and see the moon smiling down at you, think of Neil Armstrong and give him a wink."
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