The man got meh down, ah tells ya!

Well, in a pleasant yet unpleasant turn of events, the low point of my summer has already been reached and a mere two weeks have passed. The bad news is that my low point was receiving a speeding ticket: while hurrying to make my friend's graduation party I was caught on the ring-road around Indianapolis, highway 465, doing... fast... in a slow zone. The Indianapolis police, as I only found out after the fact, are scamming the good people of Indiana by intentionally passing out as many tickets as possible to collect revenue. Whats more, they have created a system wherein if you dispute your ticket you are liable for as much as $4500 in additional fees, regardless of circumstance- and while I know I was breaking the law and will not be disputing my ticket, it really is a huge F*** You to people wrongly accused of speeding. Furthermore, the system used to pay the tickets is an online system where it can take as many as six weeks to process the ticket and find out the cost of the fee (it is not printed on the ticket as per the norm) and you are only given 60 days to pay the ticket from the date issued, not the date you find out the cost. Obviously, bad news.

The good news is that it should be all uphill from here! If this is my low point, I should have nothing to look forward to but good news for the rest of the summer. Lucky for me, today I received a request for a second interview and managed to apply for a dozen or so other jobs across the country. With any luck and some karma for passing my 'low point' I should hear back from every single one of these jobs with a request that I appear in person to receive a 10 million dollar signing bonus and an undisclosed prospect from the minors.

Beatles today? Yes. This time it is yet another song that most readers will not have heard: Blue Jay Way. This trippy little ditty proudly sat on the grooves of the 'Magical Mystery Tour' LP and was written by the Beatles most under-appreciated songwriter, Mr. George Harrison. Based on his real experiences staying with a friend who lived on Blue Jay Way up in the Hollywood hills outside LA, it was a typically George song. George once approached Paul about 'Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da' and said something to the extent of "you know none of those people are real, right?" This was telling of his songwriting personality at the time; he did not understand the concept that anyone would write a song that was complete fiction with made up stories and characters, all of his work was related to real life concepts and things happening to him at the time and Blue Jay Way was no exception. Blue Jay Way applies today because it has a classic 'true-to-life' George line that ever so calmly and coolly snaps at 'the man', the same man who got me down this weekend.


"There's a fog upon L.A.
And my friends have lost their way
We'll be over soon they said
Now they've lost themselves instead.
Please don't be long please don't you be very long
Please don't be long or I may be asleep
Well it only goes to show
And I told them where to go
Ask a policeman on the street
There's so many there to meet"

Rambled this off in March 2010 (when I was six years old)

Two people are cooking in a small kitchen, a man is preparing some chicken and a woman is cooking pasta. Suddenly the man, as he shifts the pan, spills a large amount of chicken. Before he has time to react the plate is sucked out of his hand and it flies up to the corner of the ceiling. The wall then smashes open to reveal a 20 foot tall robot made entirely of high end household washing machines. The robot monster had no face, but the same proportions as a human. The machine smashed the wall open and then smashed the outside wall as the people cowered in fear. The machine destroyed the room then, just as it prepared to jump out the window onto the street two stories below the 4th wall of the room smashes open as a monster of about the same proportions but made out of high end household dryers is revealed.

The dryerbot hits the washerbot in the midsection in a perfect spear attack dive. The washerbot, belly up, fell to the ground below with the dryerbot still holding on. The two massive bots smashed a hole in the road as they landed and immediately were up and fighting once the smoke had cleared. They fought, punching each other and tackling each other down the in use roads. Cars swerved about as the robots smashed into buildings. The two monsters eventually smashed into a small local appliance store and both freeze for a moment. The washerbot abruptly hops up and seems to flex all his muscles in a warrior like pose. Suddenly washing machines from around the store start flying up to the washerbot and attaching, forming an even larger being that smashes through the roof of the store into the apartment above. Just as the dryerbot smashes a separate hole in the building to revel it has grown even bigger.

The robots continue to fight and the dryerbot eventually seems to take the upper hand as they arrive at a strip mall. Both bots are about 40 feet high and they fall onto a home depot. They both immediately suck up all the stores washers and dryers and grow to nearly 100 feet tall each. Now formidable forces that destroy small buildings with a single step, they have the power to suck dryers and washers from further distances, including the very close by Lowes, Best Buy and Sears located in the same mall. The beings are now 500 feet tall and they continue to wreak havoc as they approach the skyscraper downtown. They destroy 30 story buildings as they tackle each other and fling cars about. The dryerbot gets clever and uses a rooftop as a deadly Frisbee to the midsection of the washerbot, some washers fall off in the impact.

As they tumble around through downtown, more washers and dryers get sucked onto the respective robots from all the small local appliance stores, citizens apartments and laundramats. The household are sucked into the respective robot-monsters as their bodies seamlessly increase in size while maintaining scale as they incorporate more washers and dryers into themselves. They are eventually lerger than the tallest buildings, over 1000 feet. They destroy dozens of square blocks as they tumble about smashing at each other brutally. Mangled washers and dryers fall off constantly as they hit each other at the same time as more of the appliances continue to attach to them from all over. Thousands are dead.

Now somewhere in the black mining hills of Dakota...

Here is a Beatles song I would bet most of the people reading this post have never heard of: Rocky Raccoon. Now you're probably thinking "sure, I can name 75% of the Beatles' members, but why should I need to know about a song about some crummy rodent?" Well, as usual, you are wrong and I am right.

What makes Rocky Raccoon a great Beatles song is the same thing that makes almost every Beatles song great: innovation. Gracing the B-side of the first disc of 'The Beatles' (commonly referred to as The White Album) this song sits at the end of a musical trio of songs with animal titles. First we get Paul's immaculate Blackbird, followed by George's social commentary Piggies and then finally Rocky Raccoon. These songs were deliberately placed together and while the move is small it is merely another sign of The Beatles subtle brilliance: no one in popular music at the time was even thinking of doing what they did, and that is innovative. On to the song.

Inspired by folk rock legend Donovan (who taught Paul and John to pluck their guitar folk-style while getting stoned with them in India- you'll notice its all over The White Album) not only are we treated to Paul's hilariously poor imitation of an American accent, but we then are treated to a calming, clever and kitschy little number. Sure, the song is full of references to Gideon's Bible, but I choose to ignore that for the song's humorous value and smart rhyming scheme. To me, what really makes this song shine are the non-Paul contributions: George Martin's honky-tonk piano and John's subtle but brilliant performance on the harmonica. Bring it all together and it really does transport you to some little town in the American west. All in all this song is what many less popular Beatles songs are: fun. Listen to Rocky Raccoon with your friends and have a laugh.

"The doctor came in stinking of gin
And proceeded to lie on the table
He said Rocky you met your match
And Rocky said, Doc it's only a scratch
And I'll be better I'll be better doc as soon as I am able.

Now Rocky Raccoon he fell back in his room
Only to find Gideon's bible
Gideon checked out and he left it no doubt
To help with good Rocky's revival."

And no religion too...

Can you be good without God? Can you be religious without God? Can you live happily without God? The answer to all three of these questions is definitively yes.

This is obviously a controversial subject, but one that is coming more and more into the public consciousness. In Europe, the lack of religion amongst people is prevalent and considered a non-issue. However, in the United States, this could not be further from the truth. While it seems more and more Americans truly do not believe in the literal word of the Bible, they are not as willing to admit it. This is because if you don't believe in the Bible you are either an Agnostic or (gasp) an Atheist.

I have had discussions with religious Christians, about just about everything there is to talk about. When I tell them that my religious views are leaning toward Atheism, they get this look on their face like the balloon of their interest in anything I have to say has deflated. "Oh... you're an Atheist" they say to me as if that means I've somehow lost my will to live and am nothing but a lost and dying puppy. It makes me livid inside but you know, for no other reason than to be an altruist and good person, I calmly attempt to explain to them my opinions and try my best to share my view of science, religion and the world. Usually this discussion doesn't change a single mind, and I can live with that because I know that by NOT exploding at them and saying "Are you kidding? Judeo-Christian religious extremists are responsible for a good portion of the problems today, and they're reading the same 2000-year obsolete book that you are!" it makes me a better person than I was the day before, with our without religion. I would also like to point out at this time that I hold NOTHING against people with faith, in fact I find it fascinating, moving and interesting, its just when someone tries to shove it down someone else's throat that it can bother me.

The point of all of today's rambling is that you can be good without God; a phrase spoken by many more intelligent and well-read persons than myself. You can even participate in religion without God. I proudly call myself a Jew and I always will, whether or not I believe in the divine nature of the holy books. Judaism separates itself from many other religions by being two faced. There is a religious face, dominated by an ancient language, 613 overly-strict rules and countless changes and interpretations made over thousands of years at the will of men: not Gods but mere men. The other side of Judaism- the side I am still an active believer in- is the cultural side; 2000 years of exile, persecution an learning has created one of the richest national cultures in the world full of food, family and a yearning for answers and I am happy to be a part of it.

No Beatles lyrics today, but instead something very, very close. Most people think that "Imagine" was a Beatles song, but it, of course, was not: it was solely a John Lennon composition, released in 1971. I titled this post as I did because when I listen to "Imagine" I really do try to imagine a world with no religion. What would it be like, who would I be without my Jewish upbringing, who would you be without a life surrounded by religion, whether or not you do or ever did subscribe to those beliefs?

"Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace "

The critical #2

So here comes the moment of truth, the moment nobody has been waiting for and the world has anticipated for nearly six decades: the difficult second post. My first post since the "reboot" was literally inundated with praise from a full four people, making it- by far- the most popular blog post of my entire life. Now, I have to top that first post by making this second post even better.

Well... I haven't. I'm afraid that today the only news I have to share is that of a discussion of relationships from my skewed point of view. Having been an imaginary ladies man throughout my college career I can safely say I understand all that one would ever need to know about the female personality. And from my endless bank of womanly knowledge I have this simple piece of information to share: women are endlessly confusing.

That's right. My years of practical research and millions of dollars in funding have led me to that simple conclusion. Men are a simple bunch; we like bacon, bacon cheeseburgers, double bacon cheeseburgers and sex- there is literally nothing more to know. Women, on the other hand, don't all love bacon. This leaves the men in the world with no baseline for approaching, speaking with and crucially, living with women. My advice to men to counter this lack of a baseline is easy: act like you do, but try your best to avoid mentioning everything that you love (and that includes sex) because the less you talk about bacon, cheeseburgers and sex, the more likely a woman is to prepare you a bacon cheeseburger and follow that up with sex.

So there you have it: blog post #2. Everything a man will ever need to know about finding a woman, plus bacon. What more can I say?

I can say one more thing, it turns out. The Beatles, as usual, come into play in my life in the strangest of ways with this post. If you really, truly want to woo a woman, look no further than John Lennon. Lennon, as we know managed to not only woo the entire population of women on earth, but crucially a short Asian woman with no talent and a penchant for screaming. How can you use Lennon's brilliance to help you? Play her this, because Lennon knew what I now know thanks to him: Love plays. Love eternal.


"But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more"

We're back!

Well, after two and some change years I have decided to take up blogging once again. Spurred on by family, friends and the monster that lives in my desk drawer, I have decided that I don't care if nobody is reading: I want to blog. So welcome back, nobody, welcome back to the mind of a recent college graduate with no job, little career prospects, an undesirable degree, mediocre grades and a whole lot of optimism!

The world today, sadly, is almost as bad economically as it was when I last posted on this blog (about the economy) and improvement- while likely on the horizon- seems to be some time away. Nonetheless I am here to bring you all the news that is fit to type, or all the news I feel like sharing. Right now, I have become engrossed in the web site Reddit.com which has satisfied my need to constantly be bombarded with random information, poorly drawn comics, pictures of cats and mountains of laughter. Previously, the "entire internet" was the source of inspiration for my blog posts but now it seems Reddit may end up being the main source. Despite this I am going to try to keep things interesting by making rambling posts about my opinions rather than simply sharing relatively useless information.

Today I have one opinion to share and it is a simple one: The Beatles work can provide inspiration for any circumstance in one's life. Having graduated from college just two days prior to this post, I am feeling tremendous pressure, tremendous sadness and extreme fear for my future. Despite this, I can only think of Paul McCartney singing in "You Never Give Me Your Money" the first song in the epic B-side Medley on Abbey Road.

"Out of college, money spent. See no future, pay no rent. All the moneys gone, nowhere to go. Any jobber, got the sack. Monday morning, turning back. Yellow lorry slow, nowhere to go. But oh that magic feeling, nowhere to go. Oh that magic feeling, nowhere to go. Nowhere to go."

What is a college student to do in today's economy?

Let's face it, the economy is down the drain. Jobs are being lost, people are cutting back and congress is complaining non-stop. But what about the lowly college student? Given the situation at hand, finding a job is going to be tough, to say the least, so that is off the table. What else can you do? Have fun! Party hard, study harder (you might as well, cuz you ain't gettin a job) and spend! College students are a key consumer demographic, and this economy is begging for spending, so buy that case of bud light and order that pizza, your nation is counting on you. Don't forget that your other job as a college student is to dream big! You may not get a job now, but don't stop planning for the future. Whether this recession lasts another two months or two years, it will end sometime and when that day comes you should be ready. Like it or not, the future is in our hands, and right now the best thing any college student can do is live a lot and learn a lot, and if you can, don't hesitate to spend like crazy.